8 Tips to a Civilized Mother’s Day

My girls and I circa 1998

My girls and I circa 1998

The Mother’s Day cel­e­bra­tion was started nearly 150 years ago by an Appalachian home­maker named Anna Jarvis.  She orga­nized a day to bring aware­ness of the poor health con­di­tions in her com­mu­nity and called it “Moth­ers Work Day.” It has now become a hugely com­mer­cial­ized, money mak­ing event.

 Accord­ing to a sur­vey on Sta­tis­tic Brain:

  • The total amount spent on Mother’s Day cards is $671 million.
  • Aver­age amount of money the aver­age per­son will spend on their mother is $126.90.

 Retail estab­lish­ments are not the only ones cash­ing in.  Accord­ing to the National Restau­rant Asso­ciate, more than one-quarter of Amer­i­cans will dine out and another 10% will get take out or delivery.

 Mother’s Day is meant to be a day to thank the per­son who gave us life — or if you were any­thing like me grow­ing up, it’s a day to cel­e­brate the per­son who reminded me on a daily basis that she could also take that gift of life away!  How­ever, Mother’s Day can also lead to some inter­est­ing eti­quette ques­tions, such as:

  • Do I have to buy my step-mom a gift?
  • Do I have to cel­e­brate Mother’s Day with my mother-in-law?
  • Do I cel­e­brate Mother’s Day with my mom or my children?

 Here are a few tips to keep in mind;

  1. Although Mother’s Day is to rec­og­nize our moth­ers, it is also a time to remem­ber and thank the other women in your life who you have a spe­cial bond with, an aunt, a neigh­bor, even a friend’s mom.
  2. If you have not done so already, make a reser­va­tion if you are plan­ning on tak­ing your mom out for brunch, lunch or dinner.
  3. If you are tak­ing your mom out to brunch, a pop­u­lar choice, remem­ber to leave a tip for the wait staff.   Even though you stand in line and get your own food, you need to remem­ber the peo­ple who bring you your drinks, take away your used plates and pick up after you.  They deserve a tip.
  4. Step­moth­ers count.  Some stepchil­dren have a great rela­tion­ship with their step­mother while oth­ers do not.  Either way, you should still acknowl­edge her.  You could send her a card, or maybe take her to lunch.  It does not even have to be on Mother’s Day, espe­cially if you are spend­ing the day with your mom.  Also, you are being an excel­lent role model for your chil­dren by putting any ill feel­ings aside.
  5. If you want to spend Mother’s Day with your mom and your hus­band wants the two of you to cel­e­brate with his, then you should try to com­pro­mise.  You can either spend half the day with your mom and the sec­ond half with his, or you can divide and conquer.
  6. Give mom a gift that she wants.  What­ever you decide to buy her, make sure it is within your bud­get.  If your fam­ily buys a fam­ily gift make sure that it is some­thing that every­one can afford.
  7. Car­na­tions are gen­er­ally given on Mother’s Day because white car­na­tions were Anna Jarvis‘ favorite flower.
  8. Lastly, don’t wait until Mother’s Day to tell your mom that you love her.  It always means more to call your mother and tell her you love her on a nor­mal day than it does on a birth­day or Mother’s Day when it is expected.