6 Etiquette Tips to Keep in Mind this Labor Day Weekend

Potluck Etiquette_Jules Hirst Etiquette Expert

If you are ask­ing your guests to bring a dish, you must be clear.

 Labor Day week­end, the unof­fi­cial end of sum­mer, is one last time for a get-together with fam­ily and friends to cel­e­brate what I hope was a won­der­ful sum­mer.  If your week­end plans con­sist of a potluck or if you are host­ing, here are six eti­quette tips to keep in mind.

Host:

1. If you are ask­ing your guests to bring a dish, you must be clear as to what you are pro­vid­ing and what your guests should bring.  I know some peo­ple have a hard time with this one.  But, to be the host­ess with the most­ess, it is your respon­si­bil­ity to make sure you have a vari­ety of dishes and not an over­flow of plates and napkins.

2. Com­pli­ment the food whether it is true or not.  Always try to com­pli­ment the guests on the dishes they pro­vided espe­cially those who are not com­fort­able with cook­ing.  If they made an effort, let them know you appre­ci­ate it.  Not only are you show­ing your appre­ci­a­tion but you are also giv­ing the inex­pe­ri­enced cook a vote of con­fi­dence, which I am sure they will appreciate.

3.  Greet all of your guests.  Whether you are hav­ing a small gath­er­ing or a large party, it is your respon­si­bil­ity as host to greet all of your guests as they arrive and to make sure every­one knows each other.  This is a per­fect time to put into prac­tice your intro­duc­tion skills.

Guests:

1. Bring a dish; a bot­tle of wine is not a dish!  If the host does not ask for a spe­cific dish then offer suggestions.

2.  If you are plan­ning to bring a dish that needs to be heated or refrig­er­ated, don’t assume that you may do so.  Con­tact the host ahead of time to make sure there will be room.

3. Bring a host­ess gift.  Although you are never required to pro­vide a gift, the host has opened their home, cleaned before the party, will clean after the party and although every­one is bring­ing a dish, the host still spends quite a bit of money to put this party together.  I often hear, “I am bring­ing a dish, isn’t that my gift?”   No, it is not.

Regard­less of what your plans are this week­end, I wish all of you a happy and safe Labor Day week­end.  One last thing, if you do spend time with your fam­ily and friends, they deserve your full atten­tion.  Turn off your cell phone.

Tuesday Etiquette Tip

When it comes to Din­ing Eti­quette

Jules Hirst_Etiquette Expert

No Mat­ter which is requested always pass them both together.

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Happy Birthday America!

Happy Birthday America!

“And I’m proud to be an Amer­i­can,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I won’t for­get the men who died,
who gave that right to me.“
~  Lee Greenwood

On behalf of Eti­quette Con­sult­ing Inc, we wish you and your fam­ily a Happy and Safe Inde­pen­dence Day.

Free­dom isn’t free.  Thank you to the men and women who self­lessly serve our coun­try.  Look­ing for an orga­ni­za­tion to sup­port our Vet­er­ans?  Here are two great organizations:

1. Build­ing for America’s Bravest helps build Smart Homes for cat­a­stroph­i­cally injured vet­er­ans return­ing home from ser­vice. Visit their web­site at: https://ourbravest.org/

2. Uni­form of Suc­cess JoS. A. Bank have joined with the Gary Sinise Foun­da­tion to give suits to thou­sands of mil­i­tary vet­er­ans as they re-enter the civil­ian work­force. Visit JoS. A. Bank’s  web­site at: http://www.josbank.com/menswear/shop/ContentView?langId=-1&storeId=11001&catalogId=10050&contentKey=QRRETAIL9

To read more on the Gary Sinise Foun­da­tion visit his web­site at: http://www.garysinisefoundation.org/

Grace and Good Manners for Youth & Teens

Anto­nio Sabato Jr. Act­ing Acad­emy & Liv­ing Social Present:

Two-Hour Mod­ern Eti­quette Class for Kids & Teens

Youth & Teen Etiquette Classes & Charm SchoolTired of hear­ing “I’m bored from your youth or teen?  Pros from Anto­nio Sabato Jr. Act­ing Acad­emy have a solu­tion for you.  Enjoy a pro­gram that high­lights life inter­ac­tion skills like the Golden Rule, a proper hand­shake, din­ing skills, phone eti­quette, and more, teach­ing chil­dren to nav­i­gate the world through real-life exam­ples and inter­ac­tive exer­cises.  Classes are taught by none other than Jules Hirst, co-author of The Power of Civil­ity and founder of Eti­quette Con­sult­ing, Inc.

In this 2-hour Grace and Good Man­ners work­shop your youth & teens will learn:

Chil­dren:

Basic Eti­quette & Good Table Man­ners 1:  Children

  • Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills
  • First Impressions/Body language
  • Intro­duc­tions and handshakes
  • What is self-esteem
  • Pos­i­tive thinking
  • Man­ners and Pos­ture at the table
  • Set­ting your place at the table, the basics

Choose from 4 dates: July 22, 24, 26 & 28

Time: 1:00–3:00pm

To pur­chase your ticket visit: Liv­ing Social

Your Invest­ment: $99.00 ($300.00 value)

Loca­tion: Anto­nio Sabato Jr. Act­ing Acad­emy for Chil­dren & Young Adults, 31368 Via Col­i­nas, West­lake Vil­lage CA, 91320

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Teens:

Basic Eti­quette & Good Table Man­ners 1:  Teens

  • Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills
  • First Impressions/Body language
  • Intro­duc­tions and handshakes
  • Job/Internship inter­view
  • Pos­i­tive thinking
  • Man­ners and Pos­ture at the table
  • Set­ting your place at the table

Choose from 4 dates: July 7, 8, 10 & 12

Ages: 13–17

Time: 1:00– 3:00 pm

Your Invest­ment: $99.00 ($300.00 value)

To pur­chase your ticket visit: Liv­ing Social

Loca­tion: Anto­nio Sabato Jr. Act­ing Acad­emy for Chil­dren & Young Adults, 31368 Via Col­i­nas, West­lake Vil­lage CA, 91320

Stu­dents will receive a hand­out con­tain­ing the lessons for the course that they may keep and use to help rein­force the proper social behav­ior, self-respect and self-confidence that they will take away from the class.

Charm School for Youth & Teens… Summer 2013

Youth & Teen Etiquette Classes & Charm SchoolYou have heard it before, “Young peo­ple today have no manners!”

It doesn’t mat­ter if it’s true or not. Per­cep­tion is real­ity, and what peo­ple think is true is true for them. This means young peo­ple start out with a handicap—people expect them to be rude and boorish.

Eti­quette Con­sult­ing Inc Presents:

Charm School for Youth & Teens

Sum­mer ses­sion 2013

In this two day work­shop stu­dents will learn:

Ses­sion 1:

  • Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills
  • First Impressions/Body language
  • Intro­duc­tions and handshakes
  • Basic table set­ting vs. Semi for­mal table setting
  • Amer­i­can style of dining
  • What is self-esteem?
  • Pos­i­tive thinking

Ses­sion 2:

  • Please, thank you and excuse me
  • Being a gra­cious run­ner up
  • Tele­phone skills
  • Giv­ing & receiv­ing gifts
  • Thank you notes
  • Man­ners do travel
  • Man­ners at the table
  • Pos­ture at the table
  • Proper table talk
  • Menus and ordering meals
  • Dif­fi­cult to eat foods
  • Din­ing do’s and don’ts

Dates & Time:

Youths: Tues­day June 18, 2013 & Wednes­day June 19, 2013

Time: 5:00 – 6:30pm

Ages: 7 — 13

Your Invest­ment: $140.00 per student

To reg­is­ter your child click here

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Teens: Tues­day June 11, 2013 & Wednes­day June 12, 2013

Time: 5:00 – 6:30pm

Ages: 14–17

Your Invest­ment: $140.00 per student

To reg­is­ter your teen click here

Work­shop meets for two con­sec­u­tive days at Eti­quette Con­sult­ing Inc’s HQ in Mar Vista.  The last ses­sion con­cludes with a din­ner party where the stu­dents can prac­tice every­thing they have learned. Classes are inter­ac­tive and are taught using role-playing exercises.

Stu­dents will receive a hand­book con­tain­ing the lessons for the course that they may keep and use to help rein­force the proper social behav­ior, self-respect and self-confidence that they will take away from the class.

8 Tips to a Civilized Mother’s Day

My girls and I circa 1998

My girls and I circa 1998

The Mother’s Day cel­e­bra­tion was started nearly 150 years ago by an Appalachian home­maker named Anna Jarvis.  She orga­nized a day to bring aware­ness of the poor health con­di­tions in her com­mu­nity and called it “Moth­ers Work Day.” It has now become a hugely com­mer­cial­ized, money mak­ing event.

 Accord­ing to a sur­vey on Sta­tis­tic Brain:

  • The total amount spent on Mother’s Day cards is $671 million.
  • Aver­age amount of money the aver­age per­son will spend on their mother is $126.90.

 Retail estab­lish­ments are not the only ones cash­ing in.  Accord­ing to the National Restau­rant Asso­ciate, more than one-quarter of Amer­i­cans will dine out and another 10% will get take out or delivery.

 Mother’s Day is meant to be a day to thank the per­son who gave us life — or if you were any­thing like me grow­ing up, it’s a day to cel­e­brate the per­son who reminded me on a daily basis that she could also take that gift of life away!  How­ever, Mother’s Day can also lead to some inter­est­ing eti­quette ques­tions, such as:

  • Do I have to buy my step-mom a gift?
  • Do I have to cel­e­brate Mother’s Day with my mother-in-law?
  • Do I cel­e­brate Mother’s Day with my mom or my children?

 Here are a few tips to keep in mind;

  1. Although Mother’s Day is to rec­og­nize our moth­ers, it is also a time to remem­ber and thank the other women in your life who you have a spe­cial bond with, an aunt, a neigh­bor, even a friend’s mom.
  2. If you have not done so already, make a reser­va­tion if you are plan­ning on tak­ing your mom out for brunch, lunch or dinner.
  3. If you are tak­ing your mom out to brunch, a pop­u­lar choice, remem­ber to leave a tip for the wait staff.   Even though you stand in line and get your own food, you need to remem­ber the peo­ple who bring you your drinks, take away your used plates and pick up after you.  They deserve a tip.
  4. Step­moth­ers count.  Some stepchil­dren have a great rela­tion­ship with their step­mother while oth­ers do not.  Either way, you should still acknowl­edge her.  You could send her a card, or maybe take her to lunch.  It does not even have to be on Mother’s Day, espe­cially if you are spend­ing the day with your mom.  Also, you are being an excel­lent role model for your chil­dren by putting any ill feel­ings aside.
  5. If you want to spend Mother’s Day with your mom and your hus­band wants the two of you to cel­e­brate with his, then you should try to com­pro­mise.  You can either spend half the day with your mom and the sec­ond half with his, or you can divide and conquer.
  6. Give mom a gift that she wants.  What­ever you decide to buy her, make sure it is within your bud­get.  If your fam­ily buys a fam­ily gift make sure that it is some­thing that every­one can afford.
  7. Car­na­tions are gen­er­ally given on Mother’s Day because white car­na­tions were Anna Jarvis‘ favorite flower.
  8. Lastly, don’t wait until Mother’s Day to tell your mom that you love her.  It always means more to call your mother and tell her you love her on a nor­mal day than it does on a birth­day or Mother’s Day when it is expected. 

Charm School for Teens: Spring Break Series

This event has passed. Check out upcom­ing event’s here

Teens Etiquette Classes

Man­ners are a lost art in today’s soci­ety because chil­dren are spend­ing more and more time in front of their tele­vi­sions and their com­put­ers and los­ing out on social inter­ac­tion. What these teens do not know is that good man­ners are a skill that can pro­vide an advan­tage in the busi­ness world as well as in their daily life.

This 3 day work­shop begins April 2, 2013

Ses­sion 1:

  • Pre­sen­ta­tion Skills
  • First Impressions/Body language
  • Intro­duc­tions and handshakes
  • Basic table set­ting vs. Semi for­mal table setting
  • Amer­i­can style of dining

Ses­sion 2:

  • What is self-esteem?
  • Pos­i­tive thinking
  • Please, thank you and excuse me
  • Being a gra­cious run­ner up
  • Tele­phone skills
  • Giv­ing & receiv­ing gifts
  • Thank you notes
  • Man­ners do travel

Ses­sion 3:

  • Man­ners at the table
  • For­mal table settings
  • Pos­ture at the table
  • Proper table talk
  • Menus and order­ing meals
  • Nap­kins
  • Dif­fi­cult to eat foods
  • Din­ing do’s and don’ts
Work­shop meets for three con­sec­u­tive days begin­ning Tues­day April 2, 2013. The last ses­sion con­cludes with a din­ner party where the stu­dents can prac­tice every­thing they have learned while enjoy­ing a light lunch. Classes are inter­ac­tive and are taught using role-playing exercises.

Stu­dents will receive a hand­book con­tain­ing the lessons for the course that they may keep and use to help rein­force the proper social behav­ior, self-respect and self-confidence that they will take away from the class – while hav­ing fun & mak­ing new friends.

Dates: Tues­day      April 2, 2013

            Wednes­day April 3, 2013

            Thurs­day    April 4, 2013

Time: 3:00 – 4:30pm

Ages: 14–17

Loca­tion: Pri­vate Res­i­dence in Mar Vista  

Your Invest­ment: $180.00 per stu­dent, $140.00 for sib­lings. To book sib­lings and receive the dis­count, send an email request­ing the dis­count. Do not pur­chase through Eventbrite.

Lim­ited to 10 students

 

About the Pre­sen­ter, Jules Hirst:

Jules Hirst, Etiquette Expert

Eti­quette Expert Jules Hirst pres­i­dent of Eti­quette Con­sult­ing, Inc. She offers work­shops on a vari­ety of busi­ness, social and din­ing eti­quette top­ics and is a con­tribut­ing author of The Power of Civil­ity. Jules has been inter­viewed by and quoted in a vari­ety of media includ­ing NBC Nightly News, ABC World News, San Diego Tri­bune, Yahoo Shine, The Smart Show, KNX AM 1070 and Bravo T.V.. Visit her webiste @ www.juleshirst.com. Tweet her @Etiquette411 

Business Etiquette: Should a Senator eat ribs with the President?

Today I had the priv­i­lege of speak­ing to reporter Adriene Hill of the Maket­place on man­ners and the busi­ness meal, along with the audio clip that aired ear­lier today on KCRW  we dis­cussed “Should a Sen­a­tor eat ribs with the Pres­i­dent?  Well… not quite we dis­cussed Busi­ness Meals, she also wrote the fol­low­ing.  Enjoy.

Buesiness Meals dos and donts

*Pres­i­dent Obama isn’t just sit­ting at con­fer­ence tables with Repub­li­cans in Con­gress these days, he’s sit­ting down at the din­ner table. In fact, this week he dined with a group of sen­a­tors for a busi­ness din­ner to dis­cuss the budget.

Now, a busi­ness din­ner is an oppor­tu­nity to get to know each other, to talk busi­ness in a social set­ting, to make an impres­sion. But as any­one who’s sat down for one of these meals knows, there’s all that food on the table. How do you avoid botch­ing lunch? Marketplace’s Adriene Hill met up with Jules Hirst of Eti­quette Con­sult­ing, Inc. for a one-on-one lesson.

  1. Always fol­low your host’s lead.  Put your nap­kin in your lap after they put their nap­kin in their lap.  Order food in the same price range as the food that they order.
  2. The fold of your nap­kin should go toward you.
  3. Order a food that is easy to eat.  Ribs are a bad choice.
  4. Eat before you go out to lunch.  You don’t want to scarf your food dur­ing the inter­view or meet­ing.  You want the focus to be on the con­ver­sa­tion, not the food.
  5. If your host orders alco­hol, you may order alco­hol.  But know your­self well enough to know whether or not it’s a good idea to drink it.
  6. Wait until your host starts to eat before you start to eat.
  7. If your host asks a ques­tion just as you take a bite of food, politely indi­cate with your fin­gers that you will talk as soon as you have swallowed.
  8. Don’t cor­rect some­one else’s man­ners at the table.
  9. If you have called the meet­ing, you should pay.  Instead of wait­ing for the bill to come to the table, step away to the restroom, hand your credit card to the wait­staff and ask them to add a 20 per­cent tip.
  10. Write a thank you note.

About the author

Adriene Hill is a mul­ti­me­dia reporter for the Mar­ket­place sus­tain­abil­ity desk, with a focus on con­sumer issues and the indi­vid­ual rela­tion­ship to sus­tain­abil­ity and the environment.
*source: marketplace.org
*written by: Adriene Hill

Spring Forward

Are you excited to be los­ing an hour of sleep?

Although los­ing an hour of sleep may not be wel­comed, a 1976 study con­ducted by the US Depart­ment of Trans­porta­tion (DOT) found that by spring­ing for­ward we actu­ally save 1% on energy costs.  The National Bureau of Stan­dards reviewed the DOT study and found no sig­nif­i­cant sav­ings.  In the end does it mat­ter?  We still have to set our clocks an hour ahead before we go to bed if we want to be on time today.

Is Spring Clean­ing in your future?

It’s that time of year again where we clean our homes from top to bot­tom, which tra­di­tion­ally occurs on the first warm days of the year — typ­i­cally spring.  I don’t know about you, but I barely have time to do light clean­ing let alone clean­ing my home from top to bot­tom.  So I asked my good friend, Veron­ica Corona, CEO of CM Clean­ing Solu­tions, Inc, for advice on clean­ing when you have a tight schedule.

  • Pace your­self: Most homes will not be cleaned in one after­noon.  A truly deep clean will take 2–6 hours per area.
  • Make it fun and mem­o­rable: Fun, upbeat music and a healthy dose of utter silli­ness go a long way to keep­ing you ener­gized and on task. To engage kids, try dec­o­rat­ing broom han­dles with stream­ers, don spe­cial party hats, use funny voices, or tell silly sto­ries as you work. Or throw a clean­ing party with a spe­cial meal to cel­e­brate when you’re done. Don’t for­get to open win­dows and doors if the weather is nice. You’ll not only air your home out, but you’ll also increase your own fresh air intake, which will increase your energy and mood.
  • Cre­ate your own check­list: (or you can down­load this one) The best way to do this is to break down your areas to clean into sec­tions (mas­ter bed­room, bath­room, closet, kitchen, pantry, etc). Then break down each sec­tion into indi­vid­ual tasks that need accom­plish­ing in each room (dust fans, clean win­dows, wash sheets, etc). Once you have a check­list, esti­mate how much time it will take you to accom­plish each task. Then as you work on each task, write down the actual time it took you to fin­ish the task. This will help you to esti­mate the same tasks in other rooms and adjust your sched­ule accordingly.

 CM Clean­ing Solu­tions, Inc. pro­vides jan­i­to­r­ial ser­vices for com­mer­cial and med­ical office build­ings and retail cen­ters in the coun­ties of Los Ange­les, Orange and the Inland Empire.  You can reach them at 310– 933‑1735.

Here are a few things you should also do.…

1. Check and replace the bat­ter­ies in your smoke and car­bon monox­ide alarms.

2. Go through your dis­as­ter sup­ply kit.  Make sure you have plenty of food, water, bat­ter­ies and blan­kets.  If you don’t have a dis­as­ter sup­ply kit, now is the per­fect time to start one.

3. Check and dis­card expired medications.

Don’t get too use to Day­light Sav­ings Time, we fall back on Novem­ber 3, 2013.

Happy Spring,

Eti­quette Con­sult­ing Inc

310–425-3160

You have less than 30 sec­onds to cre­ate a first impres­sion… what does yours say about you?

First Lady’s Action Is Speaking Louder Than Words

In my eti­quette work­shops, I stress the impor­tance of being aware of body lan­guage. These days every phone is equipped with both a video and still cam­era, so you never know who might be look­ing, record­ing or snap­ping pic­tures of you and your actions.

Case in point, at Monday’s post-inaugural lun­cheon, First Lady Michelle Obama was caught rolling her eyes at Speaker John Boehner.  Although there is no audio of what was said, it has been spec­u­lated that it was a joke about The Pres­i­dent not being able to smoke.  Nev­er­the­less, rolling your eyes is not a becom­ing ges­ture for any­one, espe­cially for a First Lady.

Here are three things to keep in mind while din­ning with others:

1.  When eat­ing, keep pace with oth­ers at the table.

2.  Use good pos­ture.  Do not slouch.

3.  Be aware of your body lan­guage — rolling your eyes,  elbows on the table, etc.